Here how it goes, it was written last December 10, 2009:
"Everything seems to be fine. Everything’s going great. Though it seems to be very complicated because of Kim’s birthday celebration, it was still wonderful that it became fruitful. Christian thinks I am his girlfriend but I can’t just be dealing with this easily. He had hurt many girls and a typical bad boy. I don’t still feel secure to him. Most importantly, he’s not still a Christian. So I only have to wait while God is working on it. I believe Christian is a good man but it’s not God’s perfect time for us. Though I can feel that sometimes I want to be just in love with him, I can’t just be it.
On the other hand, Superiors got so angry with me because of what happened last Saturday night. I know it was awful and it’s so wrong to happen but it just happened. I feel so sorry about it and ask Him for forgiveness. God knows everything and we had an agreement that it’s not going to happen again. I never thought that my so-called friends would ever treat me that way. It was really disappointing. I know it’s my fault but good friends don’t leave you that way behind, right?
Yesterday, I planned to pass my graduation papers in school. Christian and Kim accompanied with me and three of us passed our papers. After that, Kim went home already and Christian attended their SSD presentation. I preferred to wait for him at Chapel around 5pm. I never felt that kind of tranquility. The place was so peaceful. The air is so refreshing that moves the gentle trees around the structure. I almost fell asleep. It was already 6pm then, and Christian is still not around. I wanted to go home already so I walk around the school and texted him if he could still come with me. He pleaded me to wait for me a bit because they’re done already. I never thought he was rushing towards me. He really still wants to see and be with me. It was overwhelming.
We ate fish balls at Teresa and he decided to send me home. I thought he was just kidding. Does this mean he’s really serious about me? It was very unusual that when we were in the van already, we were seated apart. I brought him at our Mini Mall and tour him around. We had a long walk until we reached my home. My parents met him and asked me if he’s my boyfriend but I denied. That was it. It was really very happy but still confused. He doesn’t still tell me that he loves me. So that’s the biggest reason why can’t I be comfortable with our situation. But still, I am thankful having him, my best friend."
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