This was written, October 29, 2009.
"It’s awful. Really, it is. He’s still speechless, isn’t he? Oh, I hate him for that anyway, really. He just laughed at my words I told him and he doesn’t know how painful he brought in me. But that’s okay, it’s unimportant for him I think. I just hate the fact that almost a year ago he loved me and now he’s just laughing over me because I love him. It’s drastically looked unfair for me. I am not actually expecting anything from him because I am ready for this pain. I knew it. He hates me more than I can think about and the only thing he could offer is to be a best friend to me and that’s all. Well, what’s wrong having him as my best friend? It is actually wrong because I can’t do things right as his best friend due to my feelings for him. Was it exaggerated? Am I? I really hate myself for admitting I love him. Honestly, I feel free but in pain. Well, what else can I do but to deal with it.
Christian, I HATE YOU!! You made me cry. I REALLY HATE YOU!"
Christian, I HATE YOU!! You made me cry. I REALLY HATE YOU!"
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