It was November 15, 2009 then.
"It’s Sunday. Yesterday, we already meet our professor on Rizal’s subject. She’s quite old and still has her posture and looks the way she wanted. Perhaps, I think she’s going to be an effective professor in our class. Well, on the other side, after class I go out and buy some food alone, while walking, Christian walk with me. It’s not fun at all to be with the way he is now. He’s really annoying me and I hate it much. He goes with me and buys his cigar on his own. I don’t know if he’s just like that or he’s really trying to turn me off with his ways. The smoke coming from his lips really makes me disappointed. He always laughs at me and taunts my bad ways. But honestly, though I hate his ways so much now it can’t change the way I really feel for him. Despite of all the bad things he keeps on showing me, I can still not forget how he is before. His real character that he had shown me still makes me hold on him and refuse me to let go. The way he takes care of me, the way he makes me feel I’m very much respected by him, the way he smiles because of me, the way he laughs with me, the way he shows me how special I am for him and lastly, the way he makes me love him just because he is. Why is it really hard to forget a person who has really been very special to you?
Jerome was special. I loved him but there are just a lot things that made me realized that he’s not that special to me. It’s just that I was in love with him and he’s just always there. Christian is real different from him. The feeling is so extraordinary. Just seeing him smiling makes my day. There’s always joy in my heart when he looks at me and check on me if I’m still okay. But the thing is that was just only a history. It’s like that it was never even happened before. His way now is totally different from his way before. I have to move on even if I can’t. Though, these things happening in me right now, I’ll still love him but I can’t show him any longer. Perchance, it is the end of this chapter between me and him. It was a real sad story but I have to set myself free from him to be prepared to the next chapter of my love life in the future. However, I’ll want to say that I am sure I won’t be afraid to love again somebody else. But my prayer is that somebody would be like the way Christian makes me smile for real. Then one thing is for sure, Christian will always have a place in my heart forever. "
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